Schools, IEP, Services

I don't know if I would post this, or make it public. Right now I just need to get it out of my chest. (this is Dani)

I am not a fighter, I am pretty easy going and get along with everyone, I am also very patience, and most of all I'm a giver, I like helping people and giving back.

With that being said the main idea of Blooming Kids Too is to create an inclusive community for all, a place and a community where all our children can thrive, grow and learn to be a successful adult. Services are important, therapies are important, learning to live life is important, finding your team is crucial but is also really hard, especially when you are dealing with a child who is stubborn, has behavioral problems and is not complaint.

How can I be out here helping other children, when my own daughter is struggling.

Leah is a wonderful, intelligent, beautiful 12 years old girl, her diagnosis on paper is Severe level 3 non verbal autism. Her main goal, OUR main goal is and has always been communication, but with that comes compliance. I am not going to lie, there was a moment in my life where I thought about giving up, where I thought, she is just going to be this way forever and we will have to look after her, always. Yes! we still will! but is a different feeling, I know what is she capable of, I know how manipulative she is and I know she is lazy(lack of better words).

Now present year 2024, she is in the middle of 7th grade and we have had several regressions. She is only getting bigger, pre-teens girl go through a lot emotionally, but this is getting out of control.

Is been really hard to find GOOD AND EFFECTIVE services, speech therapists who cannot deal with her behaviors, occupational therapists who would just play with her, or let her lay down on the equipment to decompress and only work 5 minutes of the session. We had ABA therapy for like two years that would come work at home, but they only worked with kids up to age 12, so yes we got discharged.

All that to say, school is the only service that she still receives, SHE LOVES GOING TO SCHOOL, But that is also being a struggle, she has been in 5 different schools trying to find the best option, we have had great teachers, but also not so great ones. 4th and 5th grade her teachers were awesome, she was growing so much, learning, and just like any mom the thought of moving from Elementary to Middle was nerve wracking.

6th grade was okay, we had good days, but also bad days, times were I had to pick her up due to her behavior, accidents, or they couldn't get her to calm down.

Now 7th grade (sight) she has pretty much gone downhill, She rode the bus all thought 6th grade, started riding the bus in 7th, but weeks after she refused to take the bus home, Ok maybe a longer ride, I will pick her up from school, no problem, before Christmas break, we could not get her on the bus in the mornings, she would flop on the bus floor and would not seat on the chair.

Because of her behavior problems and being not complaint I started sending her favorite reward, her phone. you do your work first then you get phone time, we started that in 5th grade, but with the computer, she had her own computer provided by school, In middle school these kids do not have their own personal computer. okay idk why. Every other student does. Until I asked the teacher for it. The phone works, she works for it, is a reward, NOT a babysitting tool, she comes home with the phone dead with no battery, meaning she is being on it all day long.

I stopped sending her AAC device, why? because they don't use it! again her biggest goal is communication right? SO why are we not working on her communication skills, not only that but back in September. WE LOST HER AAC DEVICE, she had a seizure at school, scariest moment for everyone! that was a wednesday, we ended up in the E.R. Thursday and Friday no School . Monday we go back and I could not find her AAC, I truly believe it was at school, gave them about two weeks for them to look it, I looked everywhere in my house, in the car, no sight of it. At this time the Ipad battery is dead so we could not pin it or find it. We were able to get a replacement yes, but it took about 6 weeks, between filing a police report, waiting on agency to send a new one. I was scared to send it to school again, plus like I said, they don't even use it. I have had to go inside the school, inside the classroom not one, not twice, A LOTTTTT of times to help them get her out of the building, simply because she refuses to listen and use to potty, and get ready, and walking out.

Leah is 90% potty train, I can finally say that!! she knows when to use the bathroom, we still have accidents, of course! but she knows HOW to and WHEN to use it! specially if we at home, or Christy's home and in her classroom there is a bathroom right there, so she doesn't have an excuse to not use it.

I tell the teachers, I send underwear, they are still keeping her in a pull-up that by the way is running small, is tight and I am sure is uncomfortable.

She came home after school, wearing not one but TWO pull-ups. For an entire week, 5 days! I was keeping track until I mentioned to the teacher. She said she will talk to the assistants, I love her teacher, she loves Leahs, and Leah loves her. But I do have a problem with people not doing what they are supposed to.

These kids are in a self contained classroom, of course I get it, they all have severe needs, and require fully attention, but I dont like the fact that they are in the classroom all school day, the therapist and other teachers come to them, they dont leave the classroom at all. I would be bored out of my mind! They need freedom, they need outside time, they need Physical Education and stay active, maybe have lunch in the cafeteria, it is not inclusion if you have them hiding in a classroom pretty much locked in there. Correction, in a small classroom with 9 students, 4 adults, 2 of the students in wheelchairs. They need more room, they need more space.

I am asking for better education for my daughter, for all the kids in that classroom, for all the kids in special education. We need to do better.

If you have a kid with behavioral problems, where is the behavioral specialist?

If you have a kid with communication problems, working on a AAC who is non verbal, Why only provide them with 30 minutes of speech a week and NOT use her AAC. Let's find an expert who can teach her and train other to use an AAC.

We had her annual IEP meeting earlier this month, and while I was getting ready I realized her goals are pretty much the same since 5th grade, potty training has been one of her goals since she started school. Communication, Compliance, matching letter, shapes, numbers. SHE KNOWS ALL THAT! no wonder she is bored and fooling everybody. Let's stimulate her brain and try new things, you will be surprised what she can do. Which is seems like to me this particular school does not have the resources to do so.

Is one-on-one a thing even in Rock Hill Schools? You have a kid who had run off in the parking lot during a fire drill, who is running after her? What if she would to run off into the street.(ok brain stop)

She ran away from the speech therapist once,( I JUST REMEMBER THAT!) and walked out the front door!! ... I thought they kept the doors locked !!! They should !!

So many things had happen, so many incidents, her hitting herself, hitting other! SHE DOES NOT HIT ME! Why is she hitting her teachers! kicking!!! she kicked a male teacher in his privates! yelling, screaming, the entire school can hear her!, flopping on the floor to the point that nobody can get her up. which is a regression because we had that under control.

Bitting her nails and toe nails to the point of bleeding, bitting her glasses to the point where she has broken them! She is been wearing glasses since 3rd grade, she knows not to bite them, and she also stopped that, so again, regression.

We are seeing behaviors from school now at home, and I don't like it! refusing to get out of the car, refusing to work, testing our boundaries. She hit Daddy fighting for the tv remote once, but we stopped it immediately.

We are only in 7th grade what is going to happen when she is in High School, HOW do get these behaviors under control, something that we had worked so hard on , just to go back where we were at the beginning, only she is not 40-50 lbs anymore, she is 128 lbs and still growing! and strong, she is sooo strong!

I will always fight for you baby girl, I will always advocate for you, and I will always be your voice, I am sorry it took me so long, that's part of the good human being I am, I like to give people second, third chances, but we are talking now about your future.

Leah has the right to a good and effective education! Leah has the right to meet her IEP goals!

Leah has the right to be in an environment where she can excel and bring out the best of her, that we all know is there, and she can do it!

Leah has the right to become a good a productive adult in our society!

Leah, Melmark School of the Carolinas is waiting for you.